And since I've declared it Fantasy Friday, I've decided that I need a personal assistant and that it needs to be...drumroll, please...Bear Grylls!
None other than the brilliantly-self-promoting-British-Special-Forces-Everest-summiting-skydiving-rappelling-bug-eating-survivalist himself. He'd do all my dirty work for me, just like Cinderella, only with testosterone and pecs.
Oh, look here he is, hard at work already. He's such a good little personal assistant.
Here's Bear testing my mudbath at the Calistoga Spa."It better be exactly 99.5 degrees this time, Grylls."
(Photograph by Justin Stephens, from Outsider magazine)
Here he is fetching me another Caramel Macchiato."More caramel, Grylls, and step on it!"
One of his dicier missions is finding the best deal on paper towels at Costco.
"And don't come back until you've used ALL the coupons!"
He's really good at finding me the best parking spots."Hey Bear, if you have time for all that self-contratulatory hand slapping, then you have time to get my dry cleaning AND scoop out the litter box."
On special assignment to find all of my missing socks."When you've got all the pairs matched up, then you can organize my junk drawers."
Clearing the neighborhood of scary skinhead guys. (Ok, I dont' have any scary skinhead guys in my neighborhood, but isn't he cute defending my life?)
"Just wait there until I think of something else I need you do to. At ease, soldier...I said at EASE soldier. Well, he does take his job very seriously, I've got to give him that."Photos from beargrylls.com
2 comments:
LOL! Fantasy Friday. Can Bear get your latest manuscript in front of agents and editors, bypassing the slush pile with brute strength and a clenched jaw?
Why, I think he can, by George.
Or Bear.
Brilliant solution! This is why I have a critique group. I'm certain Bear could rappell over the biggest, roughest slush pile.
Post a Comment